A Case for Twitter

I don't write this for the general public who has already embraced twitter as evidenced by the nearly 200 million users. I'm trying to reach out to my friends and family members who say "I don't care what anyone had to eat for lunch" as an example of some mundane tweets they believe to be commonplace. Well guess what, the postings I see on Facebook are much more boring and mundane than almost anything I read on twitter. If someone you are following starts sending out tweets about being stuck in traffic or bored at work, you can simply unfollow that person.

Kelly Oxford with her baby

Twitter is a true democracy in which if you have interesting things to say or share, then people will start to follow you. A perfect example is the Canadian stay-at-mom Kelly Oxford who now has thousands of followers. She had no background as a professional comedian but her constantly hilarious tweets gained her significant notoriety and now over 150,000 people are waiting for her latest quip. If Kelly or anyone else posts something humorous, profound or otherwise worth sharing, you can simply 'retweet' the message to your followers which helps people like Kelly gain their following.


Twitter has recently made Korean its seventh language as it continues to grow internationally. During the recent civil unrest in Egypt there were reporters and protesters who were communicating on the ground with twitter. At the end of the Super Bowl earlier this month there was an estimated 4,000 tweets per second.

CBS Promo with William Shatner

There are many different uses for twitter. You might be aware of the CBS sitcom $h*! My Dad Says which was spawned from a twitter account. In 2009, Justin Halpern had moved back to San Diego, CA to live with his parents after failing to find success as a screenwriter. He started a twitter account (@shitmydadsays) and began documenting advice, words of wisdom and jokes that his father would tell him. The twitter account took off and in less than four months he had agreed to a book deal and began developing the sitcom. His twitter account now has over 2,000,000 followers.


I personally have two accounts. I have my standard account (@nolan82) in which I post random statements, facts, jokes and observations but I also have another account (@LOLmisused) which is strictly used to mock those who misuse the acronym 'LOL'.


The number of different people, businesses, websites and fake accounts you can follow are endless. As for myself, I mostly follow for friends, comedy, sports, music, movies and news. But there are people who are tweeting about technology, politics, fashion, religion and just about any other interest you might have.


Here is a quick list of 25 random tweets I saved as favorites:

• What was the story, medically, with Sloth? - @robdelaney

• Craigslist Killer movie? I'll wait till it comes out on DVD, then wait a little longer and buy it on Craigslist, bring it all full circle. - @SklarBrothers

• I must admit after all these years I'm hurt that Hank Williams Jr still questions my preparedness for football #MNF - @EricStangel 

• There are 1,428 people living in the United States with the name Edward Edwards. In a related story, there are 2,856 extremely lazy parents. - @nolan82

• I heard you can get paid to tweet. Great news. You know what else is great news? "Old Dogs" is now available on DVD. - @KindlerAndy

• As a lifelong Patriots fan, I hope they win, and as a compulsive gambler, I hope it's by less than 3 1/2 points. - @ConanOBrien

• Just saw a cop with a face tattoo which means somewhere there is a dead naked cop. - @seanoconnz

• "post office" describes steve carrell's past and future. - @thegooddavis

• Don't you wish there was a "Previously on..." recap segment for when you run into some people? - @JimGaffigan

• If I'm in a hurry, slow drivers are idiots. If I'm taking my time, fast drivers are assholes. - @rainnwilson

• The Tea Party is to politics, what 'Jersey Shore' is to television. - @kellyoxford

• I bet a lot of people who partied at Studio 54 are now 54 and living in a studio apartment. - @morgan_murphy

• I have such low self-esteem that I'm not the main character in my diary. - @jordanrubin

• Don't know why we have a national holiday celebrating Chris Columbus. Sure, I like Home Alone & Mrs. Doubtfire but c'mon it's a little much - @paulscheer

• Going to open up a self serving Vietnamese restaurant called "Go Pho Yourself" #phokingawesome - @healthbledger

• If you have a parrot and you don't teach it to say, "Help, they've turned me into a parrot", you are wasting everybody's time. - @juliasegal

• Eating sushi alone and the couple next to me insists on feeding one another. Chef, I'll have the eye roll. - @klickitatstreet

• The hours Dolly Parton's boss expected her to keep were really quite reasonable. - @stephenfalk

• I bought a piece of furniture last night, but when I woke up it was gone. Who knew they made one night stands!? - @joselynhughes

• Just finished list of things I want to start to accomplish but then lose interest in and quit before I die. I call it my "Fuck-It" list. @mlynchtweets

• Fox's John Gibson is discussing whether Beck/Palin 2012 or Palin/Beck 2012 is the stronger ticket. #WellPlayedMayans - @clydetombaugh

• I wonder if Southern Belles say "I do declare" a lot when they're doing their taxes. - @thesulk

• If you've seen one child on a leash, you've seen the mall. - @TheJamieLee

• Just visited my old stomping grounds, where I used to rhythmically dance atop coffee beans. - @douggpound

• Larry King's wife is accusing him of cheating on her. "Yeah, get in line," said Death. - @Nicole1067

If you didn't laugh out loud at least a few times reading those, then I think you're beyond help but if you're looking to keep yourself entertained while staying apprised of current events, then twitter is probably for you.